Nothing To Say
In the past 6 weeks I've read my bible more, prayed more and even been on a 3 day fast hoping to make sense of some of the fog that I feel I've been living under. This past Monday I took a trip with my wife up to Kamloops BC to spend some time with my brothers and their families and to Lord willing clear some of the fog in my mind. As I drove out of the city towards the mountains there was very low cloud and patches of fog covering the beauty that surrounded me. It felt like a real life visual, a perfect picture of my present state. I got to thinking how difficult it is to articulate with any sense of clarity what's seems to be going on in my heart when most of the time it feels like I can only see three feet in front of me. I'm struggling to see the beauty surrounding me. The goodness of God, his blessings, his kindness.
Words don't come easy in this place. If they do they're usually words you wish you didn't say. My mom used to tell me as a little boy, "If you don't have something good to say it's best not to say anything at all." I think mom was right to a point. But then sometimes talking about being in the fog could be a good thing for someone else in a fog, struggling to see God's goodness, his blessing and his kindness.
I think the Psalmist in Psalm 43:3-5 was in a fog. He seems to have something to say to those of us who have nothing to say.
"Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." Psalm 43:3-5
Maybe the fog the Psalmist was in was not like the one you or I are in but it was fog. Notice what he says while in the fog. He asks for light and truth to be sent out so that it can find him and lead him back to the holy hill, to the dwelling place of the Most High. Once he's there he'll go to the altar of God and see God his exceeding joy and praise him with all his heart.
This is what he longs for but for now he sits in the fog asking for light and truth to lead him. He's speaking to his soul, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."
Jesus is the light of the world, Jesus is the way, the TRUTH and the life. We need Jesus to come and lead us as we continue on in our journey home. We need his presence and power to finish well. We need the fog to lift so that we can see clearly the price paid to redeem us from our many sins, for the love shown to make us his own. We need the Holy Spirit to show us Christ our exceeding joy.
This fog will pass and we will once again see just how worthy he is of our very life, our every breath and until then, Hope in God; for you will again praise him.