Home is where the real me lives.
This past weekend my band and I had the privilege of leading worship for a Desiring God conference in Fort Lauderdale at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. I spent 3 days listening to world class preaching in a world class church. It was amazing! God has been kind to me in allowing me to do these kinds of things on a fairly regular basis. I’m grateful for the opportunities to serve other churches and ministries but home is where the real me lives.
You see on the road I’m a rock star, well not really a rock star but I think you get my point. People love me! I’ve written songs that many love and sing around the world. I’m the big guy on stage leading God’s people in worship with a great band and a great sound system and a great group of people that have gathered hungry for more of Jesus. People are extra encouraging afterwards. They line up to tell me just how much my leadership and my songs have affected them. It doesn’t get any better than this! Or does it?
At home I’m not a rock star. I’m a husband who’s struggling at best to love his wife like Christ loves the church. I’m a dad who finds himself at times getting short and angry with his children. I’m a pastor that’s easily discouraged by the struggles of ministry. I’m a friend that’s too busy to be a real friend. I wake up every morning with bad breath, bad hair, a bad back and often a bad attitude. This is my real reality. This is where I live. This is where the real me is trying but often failing to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel. This is where the real me desperately needs the power of the Holy Spirit to magnify Jesus on a moment by moment basis so that I would continue to fight the good fight of faith until the end.
Home is where God and the people I love and serve know me best and how I seek to live my life at home either qualifies or disqualifies me for future ministry. Home is the best, for here the Lord is always at work in me conforming me to his image.
I close with a prayer that I pray along with the Psalmist. “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting!” Ps. 139:23-24